Issue nº 18

Reflections on 11th September 2001

     Only now, over six months after what happened, have I decided to write about this subject. I avoided touching on the matter immediately, so that each of us might reflect, each in his own way, on the consequences of the attacks.
     On the day in question, I was in Munich, ready to go to a bookshop for an afternoon signing session, when a member of staff of my publishers knocked on the door of my room:
     - Turn on the TV! Quickly!
     On all channels, the scene was the same: one of the towers of the World Trade Center was already in flames, the next plane approaching, with the resulting collapse of both buildings. No one will ever forget the calamity of 11th September 2001, where they were, how they got there and whom they were with, when the terrorist attack occurred.
     It is always difficult to accept that a tragedy might somehow bring positive things. As we watched, horrified, scenes which looked more like a science fiction film, the towers collapsing with thousands of people inside, we had several immediate feelings: the first was a sense of helplessness regarding what was going on. The second sensation was that the world would never be the same again.
     It was with these two sensations in my soul, that I turned off the television and walked over to the place where - supposedly - the signing session would take place. I was certain that no one would show up, since the next few hours would be spent in search of reasons, news, details. I crossed the deserted streets of Munich; although it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon, people had gathered in the bars, where radios and TV's were on, everyone trying to convince themselves that all this was just some type of dream from which they would awake, sooner or later, commenting to their friends that at times, the human race is subject to nightmares which are often very similar.
     Upon arriving at the bookshop, to my surprise, hundreds of readers were waiting for me. They were not talking, not saying a word - it was a silence which came from the depths of the soul, void of meaning. Gradually, I began to understand what they were doing there: at moments such as this, it is good to be with others, because we do not know what may happen from then on. Little by little, we were beginning to realize that it wasn't a nightmare, but something very real and palpable, which - from now on - would be part of the history of our civilization.
     It is about this which I wish to write, at the end of this very troubled year. The world will never be the same again, that is true - but, almost four months after that afternoon, can there really still be a feeling that all those people died in vain? Or is there something beyond death, beyond all the rubble and twisted steel, which can be found under the ruins of the World Trade Center?
     I think that every human being has tragedy cross his life at some point; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a child, a false accusation without proof, an illness which appears without warning, leaving him an invalid for life. Life is a constant risk, and whoever forgets that will never be prepared for the challenges of destiny. When we come face-to-face with the inevitable pain which crosses our path, we are forced to seek some meaning for that which has come to pass.
     However good we are, however correctly we seek to lead our lives, tragedies do occur. We can blame others, look for justification, imagine how our lives would have been different without them. But none of that matters: they have happened, and that is that. From this point on, it is necessary that we review our own lives, overcome fear, and begin the process of reconstruction.
     The first thing we must do, when faced with suffering and insecurity, is accept them as such. We cannot treat them as things which do not concern us, nor see them as punishment which satisfies our eternal sense of guilt. In the ruins of the World Trade Center were people like us, who were insecure or unhappy, well balanced or struggling to grow, some had families at home waiting for them, while others were desperate in the face of the loneliness of the big city. They were Americans, English, Germans, Brazilians, Japanese, people from all over the world, united by the common - and mysterious - fate of finding themselves in the same place at around 9 in the morning, a morning which was beautiful to some and oppressive to others. When the two towers collapsed, it was not just those people who died: we all died a little, the whole world shrank a little.
     Some years ago, in Japan, a group of students of Zen Buddhism were gathered in a house in the country, when the caretaker arrived with news of a nearby tragedy: a house burned down, leaving a mother and daughter homeless. Immediately, one of the students organized a collection in order to help the family rebuild their home.
     Among those present, was a poor writer, and the girl decided not to ask him for money. "One moment," said the writer, when realized he was being left out. "I too want to give something. "
     In a moment, he wrote on a piece of paper what had happened, and put it inside the jar which was being used to collect money. "I want to give everyone this tragedy. May it always be remembered when we think about the small incidents in our lives."
     In the case of the incidents of 11th September, I think we received other things apart from this feeling - to accept that, however bad our life is, it still is far better than the majority of human beings. However difficult it may be to accept what happens to us, one must understand that moments such as this give us the possibility for radical change in our behavior.
     When faced with a great loss, be it material, spiritual or psychological, it is no use trying to recover that which is gone. Seen from another point of view, a great space has been opened up in our lives, and there it is, empty, waiting to be filled with something. At the moment of loss, however contradictory it may seem, we are acquiring a large slice of freedom. Instead of filling this empty space with pain and bitterness, there are other ways of facing up to the world.
     To begin with, we must recall that great lesson of the wise: patience, the certainty that everything is provisional in this life. We must review our values: if, for many years, the world never goes back to being a safe place, why not use this sudden change and make the most of these days to risk things we always wanted to do, but hadn't the courage, believing that we should follow a "normal rhythm of life", in which everything is under control? How many people, on that morning of September 11th, were in the World Trade Center against their will, trying to follow a career which was not theirs, doing a job they disliked, were only there because it was a safe place, and guaranteed enough money for their pension and old age?
     That was the great change in the world, and those who were buried in the rubble of the two buildings did not die in vain. Now, they make us think about our own lives, our values, and they urge us on towards the destiny we dream about for ourselves, although we never had the courage to face up to it. When the towers crashed to earth, they carried with them dreams and hopes, but they also opened up our own horizon, and allowed each one of us to reflect on the meaning of our lives.
     So, the time has come not only to rebuild the Towers, but also ourselves; it is precisely here that our attitudes towards that which awaits us, will make all the difference. There is an old story about a man who, following the bombing of Dresden, walked past a piece of land filled with rubble and saw three laborers at work.
     - What are you doing? - he asked.
     The first laborer turned:
     - Can't you see? I'm removing these rocks!
     Unsatisfied with the answer, he turned to the second laborer.
     - Can't you see? I'm earning my wage! - was the reply.
     The passer-by still didn't know what was going on there, and decided to insist one more time. He turned to the third man, and once again repeated his question.
     - Can't you see? - said the third laborer. - I'm rebuilding a cathedral!
     Although these three people were doing the same thing, only one perceived the true dimensions of his life and his work. We can only hope that, in the world to come after September 11th 2001, each of us is capable of rising up above our own emotional rubble, and reconstructing the cathedral we always dreamed of, but which we never dared create.